Tag: jokes
member name: Mugg Muggles, "The Man With the Jive"
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September 02, 2009 12:46 AM EDT --
This gentleman has the right attitude.
I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well..I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, . . .
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April 16, 2009 08:20 PM EDT --
I just received this in an e-mail and felt compelled to share it.
So there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn't want to . . .
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November 21, 2006 12:31 PM EST --
Ingredients:
1 whole chicken or turkey
1 large lemon, cut into halves
sprig of rosemary
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
Heat oven to 350 degrees
. . .
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February 26, 2007 02:37 AM EST --
HERE 'TIS-Print out for your Oscar Guests!
While playing the Film.com Oscar Drinking Game, do not operate heavy machinery or attempt to juggle more than three remote controls. The Film.com Oscar Drinking . . .
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November 17, 2006 11:35 AM EST --
Actually I found this in my Inbox yesterday, but it has some pretty amusing stuff that I'm sure will provide a few chuckles.
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to . . .
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August 05, 2008 07:11 PM EDT --
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in almost awake, she turned and . . .
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October 03, 2006 01:54 PM EDT --
According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. . . .
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November 28, 2006 03:26 AM EST --
One day as I was driving in rural Kentucky, my eyes caught a sight I'd never seen before. There it was, a pig with a WOODEN LEG, hobbling awkwardly about in a large pen.
I screeched to a halt and . . .
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October 16, 2008 01:45 AM EDT --
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. . . .
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October 02, 2006 04:29 PM EDT --
DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix . . .
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December 19, 2006 05:19 PM EST --
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, . . .
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October 16, 2008 03:39 AM EDT --
I recently told this joke to a friend who has an incredible collection of tasteless and offensive stories. It is the only time I ever saw him speechless.
I hope you enjoy this.
A not very . . .
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November 29, 2006 08:15 PM EST --
Someone asked Boy George who he considered to be the top figures in the Civil Rights movement.
After some thought (?) he drawled, "Wall ah'd have to say that the Rev'ren Doctor Martin Luther . . .
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July 22, 2008 09:14 PM EDT --
OKAY, let's try it again. I just went through the motions and found myself back at square one. Ain't technology great?
******* ******* ******** ******* . . .
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October 03, 2006 11:37 AM EDT --
With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Mall of America. . . .
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December 18, 2006 11:48 PM EST --
(Sorry for the formatting glitches, I tried to edit them out about 6 times with no success. The editing capabilities SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Jim and Edna were both patients . . .
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February 23, 2007 06:22 PM EST --
The Audition
The drummer sits down at the kit. The band leader says, "Can you play a
samba pattern with your bass drum?"
The drummer obliges with a boob b-boom samba pattern.
The leader . . .
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March 18, 2007 01:37 PM EDT --
Pour a Guinness & enjoy some Irish Jokes!
Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.
-------------------------------------------------------------- . . .
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April 22, 2007 02:05 AM EDT --
HAD to pass this on
A calm & respectable lady went into the pharmacy & walked right up to
the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes & said, "I would like to
buy some cyanide." . . .
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February 07, 2007 03:58 AM EST --
There were five country churches in a small town:
The Presbyterian Church , the Baptist Church , the Methodist
Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was
overrun with pesky squirrels . . .
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